06 Jul 5 Things We Hate to Do – But Need to Do for the Children We Love
There are moments in life that forever change the way we see what truly matters.
I remember one rainy Sunday when my father told my mother he wasn’t feeling well. None of us realized he was having a heart attack. He was only in his mid-forties. Thankfully, he survived that day, and we were grateful for the extra years we had with him.
Years later, however, a doctor gave him a difficult warning: if he didn’t change his habits, he likely wouldn’t live much longer. Sadly, those changes never came. About a year later, he passed away.
There are times when I appreciate that he lived life on his own terms. But more often, I find myself wishing he had made different choices—not just for himself, but for those who loved him.
My wife never had the opportunity to meet him. My children know their grandfather only through stories and photographs. They never heard his laugh, shook his hand, or experienced his love firsthand.
That experience taught me something I will never forget: the decisions we make today affect the generations that follow us.
Whether you’re a parent, grandparent, foster parent, aunt, uncle, mentor, teacher, coach, or anyone investing in the life of a child, there are certain responsibilities that aren’t always enjoyable—but they are necessary.
Here are five of them.
Take Care of Yourself
As we get older, taking care of our health becomes more challenging.
Exercise isn’t as easy as it used to be. Healthy eating requires discipline. Doctor appointments aren’t exactly exciting. Rest often feels impossible.
Yet caring for ourselves isn’t selfish—it is stewardship.
The people who love us don’t simply need what we provide. They need us.
They need our presence.
Children deserve adults who are healthy enough to show up at ball games, graduations, weddings, birthdays, family vacations, and ordinary Tuesday evenings around the dinner table.
No one is promised tomorrow, but we should do everything reasonably possible to give ourselves the best opportunity to be present for the people we love.
Taking Care of yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give those who depend on you.
Hold Loving Boundaries
Few responsibilities are harder than correcting someone you love.
Whether it’s telling a child “no,” enforcing consequences, maintaining expectations, or teaching accountability, discipline is rarely enjoyable.
Many adults avoid difficult conversations because they want to keep the peace.
But real love doesn’t avoid correction.
Healthy boundaries teach responsibility.
Consistent discipline teaches respect.
Accountability builds character.
Children who are lovingly corrected learn that actions have consequences and that integrity matters. Discipline should never come from anger.
It should always come from love.
Our goal isn’t to control children.
Our goal is to prepare them for life.
Make Time for Joy
Life is busy.
Bills have to be paid.
Schedules have to be managed.
Work never seems to end.
Before long, responsibilities can crowd out relationships.
Sometimes we become so focused on providing for our families that we forget to enjoy them.
Children may not remember every gift we bought them, but they will remember how we made them feel. They’ll remember family game nights.
The trips to the park.
The bedtime stories.
The laughter around the kitchen table.
The conversations during long car rides.
Creating joyful memories takes intentional effort.
It requires putting down the phone, turning off the television, and choosing people over productivity. Never underestimate the power of shared laughter.
Be Willing to Answer Questions
Children are naturally curious.
They ask questions about everything.
Sometimes those questions come at inconvenient times—late at night, while you’re working, or when you’re exhausted.
It can be tempting to say, “We’ll talk about it later.”
Sometimes that’s necessary.
But don’t let “later” become “never.”
When children ask questions, they’re really saying something deeper:
“I trust you enough to help me understand the world.”
If they don’t receive guidance from trusted adults, they’ll often search elsewhere for answers.
Today that “somewhere else” may be social media, friends, influencers, or the internet.
Not every voice deserves to shape a child’s thinking.
Be the safe place where questions are welcomed.
Even when you don’t know the answer, be willing to learn together.
Those conversations build trust that can last a lifetime.
Choose Sacrifice Over Self
Perhaps the greatest expression of love is sacrifice.
It’s giving up convenience so someone else can flourish.
It’s choosing patience when you’re tired.
Listening when you’re busy.
Showing up when it’s inconvenient.
Putting another person’s needs ahead of your own comfort.
Every healthy relationship requires sacrifice.
Every healthy family is built on it.
Children may never fully understand everything you’ve given up for them while they’re young. But one day they will.
More importantly, your sacrifices teach them how to love others.
They learn generosity by watching generosity.
They learn kindness by watching kindness.
They learn commitment by watching commitment.
Your example becomes their blueprint.
Final Thoughts
The most meaningful investments in life are rarely the easiest.
Taking care of your health.
Holding firm boundaries.
Creating joyful memories.
Listening patiently.
Living sacrificially.
These aren’t always enjoyable in the moment.
But years from now, they become the memories, lessons, and legacy that shape future generations. No one does these things perfectly.
Every caregiver makes mistakes.
Every family has difficult seasons.
The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is faithfulness.
The children in your life don’t need a perfect parent, grandparent, mentor, or guardian.
They need someone who consistently shows up with love, wisdom, grace, and commitment.
One day, long after we’re gone, the greatest evidence of our lives won’t be found in our careers, our possessions, or our accomplishments.
It will be found in the lives we helped shape.
So choose the difficult things today.
Because the people you love are worth every sacrifice.
Stanley Barnes is the Program Coordinator for Pulaski County CASA, a Certified Guided Facilitator, a Better Dads Facilitator, and an Inspirational Speaker. He is the Founder and CEO of Building Bridges/Mending Fences Mentoring and the Founder and Pastor of Building Bridges Ministries. He has a lifetime of experience in leadership and youth and adult mentoring.
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